Where is your focus this lent?

   What did I give up for lent?  What am I doing this lent?  How am I journeying   through lent and will this season bring me closer to God or will I stay stuck where I am?

As long as I keep the focus on ‘me’ and what I am doing and how I am doing, this lent will not bear much fruit.  I need to concentrate on God, and take the ‘me’ out of this equation.  My desire is to increase my desire, to grow closer to my Creator, to allow him to continue to create me. 

Lent is a time to go deep, to go inside to my center, but unless I recognize that God dwells there, I am still stumbling around in the dark.  He lives in me, and sometimes that is the best hiding place of all. 

Time alone, sitting in silence, letting those thoughts come and go in a most gentle way, allowing yourself to be loved – really loved is the best way that I know of to connect with the Source, God, my lover. 

The world has a problem with silence.  The world has a problem with ‘wasting time’, the world has a problem with God.

Perhaps the greatest discipline that I can have this lent is to allow God to love me….

Expiration Dates

Last night I gave a retreat on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit to 78 eighth graders and their parents.  What at treat for me!  These teens are so serious about their faith…  I have been working with children for a very long time and each year the group has a different ‘personality’.  This particular group is commited and throughout this year I have seen and read so many inspiring tidbits.  I know, without a doubt, that the Holy Spirit is at work here and I am quite confident that they will continue to “go and make disciples of all nations….”

I asked the students to to write one sentence about their faith – I can’t wait to read them all today, but as I was packing up last night, I glanced at the sheet on top.  Here is what it read:

“My faith has no expiration date”

Wow, wow, wow – no wonder Jesus proclaimed that the ‘kingdom of God belongs to these….’

Why not try this on for lent?

“Humility is the ointment for all our wounds”

St. Teresa of Avila

A few days into the lenten season…are we feeling it yet?  Are we craving the chocolate or caffeine that we’ve given up?  Are we staying true to the promise to pray more, read a spiritual book, blog more often?  At the end of the day can we put that check mark of success next to our ‘lenten promise’ ?

Think about this:  If the main reason that I’m doing something ‘extra’ for lent is to prove to myself (or the world) that I am strong, disciplined or a good disciple of Jesus, then, in my opinion, I’ve got it all wrong.  Lent is not about forty days of sacrifice only to emerge proud and victorious, lent is more about the inner work, the transformation, the time in the desert, and often the end result is more anguish than joy. 

St. Teresa said that ‘humility is the ointment for all our wounds’.  What a powerful statement!  Perhaps this lent we should try to develop and practice this most sacred virtue – humility. 

A humble spirit, a humble heart…one only has to gaze upon the cross to see the ultimate humility personified.

The next time I’m feeling the pain from one of my wounds, self-inflicted or otherwise, with God’s help, I will try to ease the hurt with a little humility…..talk about a lenten sacrifice!!!

 

The Letters of Lent

   I took a few moments to go outside yesterday to enjoy a bit of the sunshine and to take my little dog for a short walk.  I began to think of the word ‘lent’, not necessarily the origin of the word, but rather the letters of the word.  Lent spelled backwards isn’t a word – TNEL  – but by switiching the n with the e, you get TENL.  This may not look like anything, but how about this?  Ten – L.  Now we have the story of the Bible, our Salvation History.  The Law and Jesus.

Ten:  The Commandments – The Law, basically the message of the Old Testament

L:  Love, basically the message of Jesus

Jesus didn’t come to abolish The Law, but to fulfil it.  And the fulfillment of The Law is love. 

Love always has the final word…..

My meditation today:  Am I acting out of The Law or out of Love?

Lent is not a neutral word

One cannot hear the word ‘lent’ and not have an emotional response.  Lent is not a neutral word.  When I think about lent as a child, I remember giving up candy, gum, or ice cream.  The few times that I made it all the way through lent, I felt a bit smug and proud at the end of the 40 days.  Most times I gave in to ‘temptation’ and then the guilt and remorse set in.  But…those were my childhood memories.  I’ve grown and my feelings about lent have as well.

I remember a lent a few years ago that was so joyous for me that I almost felt guilty for being so happy.  It was a lent laced with love – with the thought of all that He did for me was out of love.  His choice…He chooses to love me more than His own life.  He chooses to accept me in all my weaknesses and flaws and, He chooses to die for me.  His choice – my Grace. That year lent was a gift and it was a joy-filled 40 days.

Most lents are a mix.  With so much inner and outer work to do, how could these 40 days not be a mixture of pain, sorrow, joy, and love?  What will this lent bring?

I will try to remain open to whatever emotions fill me these next 40 days.  I will try to approach lent as an adult with the heart of a child.

 

 

A Model of Reverence

I just returned from a four day retreat at a monastery.  Each time that I go on retreat, I am pleasantly surprised by what I take away from it.  I go with expectations and assumptions, but thankfully, God has other plans.  The grace-filled moments gift me with far more than I could ever imagine.  Time alone, dedicated to God, is most necessary and fruitful.  Wasting time with God?  Yes, the very essence of prayer.

The few conferences offered contained so much that I feel as though I can only process bits at a time, but this pearl of wisdom touched my heart and has remained with me these past few days.  This is what the retreat presenter said:

“If you want a model of true reverence, than you only need to look at the way that God treats us.”

Wow, usually we think of it as the other way around, but I dare to say, that our treatment of God isn’t always the best model of reverence!  But, think about his words.  How does God treat us?

The hairs on our heads are counted

Jesus died for us

God formed us in our mother’s womb

Our names are on the palm of his hand…

The list from Scripture goes on and on, but here’s another thought. 

The fact that God honors our free will is true reverence. 

“If you want a model of true reverence, than you only need to look at the God’s relationship to us.”

You really want to be careful with that one…

I was talking with a couple people the other day.  One of those light but heavy conversations…We got on the topic of some of the ‘big’ authors of faith, Rahner, Balthasar, de Chardin, etc.  Oh, not that we were discussing their theology, no, it was more like…’why is it so difficult to understand their writings…?’

One of the people said something like, ‘Why do these authors make such simple tenets so complicated?’  He then went on to say, ‘Just read the Gospels, I understand everything Jesus meant’.

Oooooh, I’d be really careful with a statement like that!  Jesus, the God-man who turned the world upside down.  Jesus, the God-man who was unpredictable – silent when I would have screamed, slow when I would have rushed, faithful when I would have given up, loving when I would have turned away…..

Do I have faith? I sure hope so.  Do I love him? I think so.  Do I understand him?  Well, I’m still working on that one…..