What a difference a year makes

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It’s been quite a year…so many changes!  Life has taken me in a direction that I would have never planned.  Funny how that works, huh?  My life hasn’t gone the way I planned!  But in the course of many disappointments, sorrows, and betrayals, and pain, I have grown and learned and I now recognize that I am on a path to freedom.

So, welcome back to anyone who is kind enough to still read my blog.  Over the course of my next posts I will share some of my new-found freedom.  I will try not to overuse platitudes such as ‘when one door closes….’ but there is wisdom in sayings that have lasted through the ages.

Sometimes it does take a hammer to jolt you out of a situation where you are dying inside.  And…it often takes a very long time to realize that it is good, all good.  They say, ‘freedom comes at a cost’ (another platitude) – it did for me.  And so, as I continue meandering towards freedom, I hope you will come along.

Beauty

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The amazing thing is…..these flowers would have blossomed  whether or not I snapped this photo.  The beauty that we see in nature is there, whether we are present to look at it or not.  It makes me wonder ‘why?’  There is no doubt that God gives us this loveliness for us to enjoy it.  Who is not lifted up by an amazing sunset or a blooming garden?

But there is much beauty in the world that exists whether or not we lay eyes on it.  Think about the wildflowers that bloom on the mountaintops, or the glorious blooms of the rainforest.  Perhaps they exist for God’s very own pleasure.  Perhaps they have such beauty inside that they can’t contain it.  They burst forth with the energy of love.

It makes me think about my actions and the motives behind them.  How often do I want to be acknowledged for the good I do, the beauty I share.  Did anyone notice?  Did you see? I did a really good thing here……

“No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light…. ” Luke 8:16

If I am living my ‘true self,’ then my light has to shine, whether people notice or not.  Just as the flower has to bloom because of the beauty within the bud, I have to love because of the Divine who dwells within me.

“…do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, … ” Matt 6:3

My prayer is that I can let my light shine, even when no one is around to see it.  

Just another gentle teaching from nature….

 

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Truth

It must be Children’s Book week because after watching the news,
another great 
quote from “The Little Prince” comes to mind:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

We are so often blinded by labels…..human-created labels.  Our hearts do have eyes and they are able to see far more than the eyes on our faces can. Our heart’s eyes do not see race or religion.  Our heart’s eyes are blind to differences that exist between us.  They only see what unites us…..one body.

They see shared suffering, compassion….love. It’s time to begin to see with these eyes, the eyes that are not able to see differences.  

Helen Keller, deaf and blind perhaps saw better than any of us, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.”

What is Eucharist?

(This post is a little longer than most, but these feelings run deep, so thanks for stopping by)

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Eucharist Mystery, Miracle, Magic

We have come so far in our understanding of Eucharist, or have we?

(deliberately did not use ‘the’ before the word Eucharist….poetic license)

I’d like to think that all the rules and regulations regarding consecrating and receiving Eucharist originated in our beliefs of its sacredness and holiness, but I’m not so sure anymore.  Each church, while trying to interpret that last night of Jesus’ life on earth, has developed their own code when it comes to defining and distributing Eucharist.

Only an ordained Priest, a common cup vs. individual cups, to touch or not to touch, a symbol, a memory,  a Body?  In most cases, a gathering of people are present, but is it the prayer of the people or the hands of a man that Consecrates?  Is it public participation or a spectator event?

I’ve heard it argued that we should only be allowed to receive on the tongue, that we are not worthy to touch Eucharist, and yet I think back to a Supper long ago where the bread was offered and passed hand to hand.  I think of the many times I have placed Eucharist into the hands of people, dirty innocent children’s hands, calloused working hands and hands that are wrinkled from a life lived.  As I see these hands come forth, open to receive, my mind flashes back to the many church bulletins that I’ve read stating the ‘correct’ way to receive…..never with dirty hands. I can’t imagine that Jesus’ hands or the hands of His Apostles were especially clean that night long ago, we certainly know that their feet weren’t!

And the table that they sat, community, Jesus among them, sharing, eating and drinking as one. One Body. Jesus not far off elevated in a sanctuary, removed from His people.

Were there rules that first night? Was there any kind of screening  to determine who was worthy to receive?  The only One who could sit in judgement didn’t. He sat with them. He sat, hands outstretched, offering and inviting with the simple words, “Take and Eat..”  Were they in a state of grace, no sin?  I think not!  Eucharist was offered to saint and sinner, dirty hands and all. And could they touch it?  You bet!  They could experience Eucharist with all of their senses in the presence of the God-Man who is the Source. Perhaps that is the true Mystery.

I have to believe that it is because of our reverence that we have come so far from that First Eucharist, but have we lost its true meaning in all the sterility?

Although I’m not quite ready to abandon all ‘church’ interpretations of Eucharist, I am most certainly ready to expand its definition.

And so, here is my expanded version of Eucharist.  First some background: My mom is in a nursing home.  Even though it’s been over a year now, each time I walk up the steps to visit her, I cringe as I think of who lives exists behind the doors. I don’t think I will ever get used to the faces of the residents of the home, at least I hope I don’t.  I want their images to be ever before me, those who look at you but are no longer able to reach out and share their world with you because they now live in a world that we don’t have access to.  Their world, in-between, so to speak.  And yet, each one has a story…..memories of lives that are long gone and exist only in momentary flashes.

This is where my mom lives.  I am so grateful that she still knows me, but sometimes I wish that she would remember less.  She remembers my dad who passed last year as she laments over her loneliness. She suffers in silence, her words are few, but her eyes scream of the desire to go home. To rest in her eternal home.

Last week I took her outside to get a bit of sun and some fresh air.  We were enjoying the mottled blue sky and the sound of the baby birds squawking for food from their mothers, when a loud motorcycle pulled into the parking lot. The man sat on his bike for a few minutes and I wondered if he just pulled off the road for a bit of a respite, but before long the engine silenced and he headed for the entrance steps.  We glanced over to see a balding middle-aged man in jeans and a short sleeved shirt which allowed the tattoos on his arms to show.   As he ascended the steps, he glanced over to us and with a wave said, “Hello Marie” (my mom’s name).  I gave her a startled look and asked her who he was.  She smiled her Cheshire Cat – I’ve got a secret smile and raised her eyebrows.  She wasn’t going to give me any more information and so I thought that he was, perhaps, one of the workers or aides.

It was lunchtime and so we went back inside to the small cafeteria.  I wheeled her up to the table and sat beside her.  It wasn’t long before the man entered pushed a wheelchair up to our table.  The woman sitting in the chair was mumbling in Italian and I could see that there was not much dialogue between them.  It was his mother.

As we waited for the food, the man began to talk to my mother.  He took out his iPhone and played some Italian songs.  He said, “You know this song, right Marie?”  My mother nodded.  The food came and he gently and carefully fed his mother, one tiny spoonful at a time.  I could tell that this was something that he did very often.  I truly believe that his patience and compassion was more sustenance than anything on the lunch plate.  I smiled as the tears came to my eyes…..this motorcycle, tattooed man across the table from me was Incarnation.

This is Eucharist!  As is the uneducated aide who sits beside the woman who cannot lift her head from her chest.  I watch as the aide gently parts her lips so that some of the mush that is disguised as lunch nourishes this woman.

I hear the aide who argues with the nurse making the rounds, “Don’t tell me what to do with this woman, she is my patient, I know her and her needs come before any artificial schedule.”  This is Eucharist!

So, let the theologians and the scholars debate and deliberate.  I don’t want to live in that world anymore.  I don’t want answers…..there aren’t any real answers anyway.  My eyes have been opened to Eucharist.  Dirty, broken, and shared.  Eucharist – oh yes, we can certainly touch it, embrace it, devour it and love it.  Eucharist is not something kept in a Tabernacle, Eucharist is the Love which is.

Gratitude

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I can’t tell you how many times I have taught children and their parents a simplified version of the Examin.  I suggest that at the end of  each day, they take  a few minutes to reflect on their day and find a couple of things to be grateful for and then take a moment to ask God for something.  It seems doable, a prayer that can be shared as a family, and yet simple enough for even the youngest children.  I know how popular it is, and am aware of how long it has been used by so many.

The only thing that was missing for me, was the power of this simple prayer!  It wasn’t until I started taking a few minutes of reflection that I began to see the miracles hidden within it.  Each day is filled with these miracles, not bread-to-wine miracles, but small ones gifted to us through the smile of a stranger, a hug from a child, or a glance of understanding from a friend.  These are the moments that so easily get lost in the busy-ness of our days, and yet, these are the very same moments that reflect heaven.

It is only in the quiet and stillness of the last minutes of the day that these special memories come to the forefront of my mind.  And, it is in the recollection of these moments, when I lift my eyes in gratitude, that I find the peace to settle in for a restful night’s sleep.

 

 

 

It’s OK!

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We are always hearing that we need to ‘step out of our comfort zones.’  My question is, WHY?  I do believe in stretching myself, but I think that comfort zones exist for a reason.  

I know that some may think, ‘if we don’t step out of our comfort zones, then nothing gets changed,’ but that is not what I’m saying.  Of course we need to build awareness and work hard to help those in need to promote change, but can’t we do that within our comfort zones?

I do my best when I am working within my comfort zone.  Is it always easy?  No!, but it is where I do my best work.  We all have such diverse gifts, when we discover and use our gifts, we do our best work.  And, thankfully, there are others who compliment us with their gifts.

Sounds a bit cryptic? Let me clarify…..I was at a meeting yesterday with a room filled with great thinkers.  My ego kept telling me that I should contribute to the conversation, but nothing brilliant was popping into my head.  After I stopped stressing about what I could add to the conversation, I began to realize that this group were the theoretical dreamers and I was a make-it-happen doer.  

My comfort zone is where I do my best work, it is where my gifts are realized and utilized.  It’s ok to work in my comfort zone……stop with the pressure!