I think I’ve finally found it

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So, I’m thinking that this post is going to sound like a cross between spirituality 101 and a fairy tale.  For years I have struggled with the false-self/true-self model.  Not that I didn’t believe that it had validity – too many of my respected mentors speak of it, but I just couldn’t wrap my self around understanding it totally – not that anything spiritual can be totally understood!

It’s just that I didn’t really know what a true self is – because if my false self is the face that I project to the world, than, not only is it depressing,  but then where is this illusive true self and how do I get it to surface?

Once again, my understanding came from a child……who defined a ‘soul’ as the part of you that lives forever with God.  Not only do I love that simplicity, but that definition was an ‘ah-ha’ moment for me.

In order for me to not make this a too-long post, I will highlight my ‘ah-ha’s’

  • I have a soul inside of me that is both beautiful and perfect (the true self that God created???)
  • It is the ‘me’ that is eternal and is united with God both now and forever
  • It is the ‘me’ that God sees – the rest is just fluff and really inconsequential to God – (that point may get me into trouble)
  • I can access my soul anytime I become quiet
  • My soul is where I meet God – we reside there together
  • My soul – my true self – my eternal (noun) – God’s creation is loved.  Beyond all measure, beyond all time, beyond all space, all words and all actions.  My soul is who God created – my ‘me’

Why do i keep buying granola bars when i don’t even like them?

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Right now I have two different kinds of granola bars in my office.  Each morning at about 11:00 when my stomach tells my brain that I’m hungry, I look at the granola bars and think, ‘why do I keep buying granola bars when I don’t even like them?’

Well, I tell myself a variety of reasons:
– other people like them
– they are kind of a yuppie (do we even use that word anymore?) thing to eat
– they are quick and easy
– they are sort-of healthy

But the truth is, no matter what the reason, I don’t really like them, so why do I keep buying them?  I began to think….how many other things do I keep ‘doing’ out of habit, or because it is socially or politically correct?

The truth is, I am reaching a time in my life where I can break free of non-life-giving actions.  It may take some energy to stop and examine my habits, but it requires far more energy to continue patterns that do not nourish my soul (and body – no more granola bars).

There’s a lot of ‘yucky’ stuff that comes as we age, but there is also a lot more freedom, if we embrace it.  Maybe this has to do with the false self/true self, but perhaps it is time to reveal the ‘real me’ to the world – AND MYSELF!